Oh, and just so you all know, I was told at rehearsal today that I'm a hot kisser. HAH, well, there's something good Christian girls are used to hearing.
Come to see the show if you want to see my hot kissing.
Thurs at 7, Fri 7&11, Sat 7 in the arena theater of the freize building.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
I just came from rehearsal. It was a wild one. 6 hours long. And I have no food to eat! But it's okay, I will find something. Mmm, there ain't nothin' like a dinner of cheezits and nuts. Protein and... nothingness.
I'm pretty pleased with the work I did in rehearsal tonight. I got a harsh note from the director to begin the rehearsal that I have no energy at rehearsals. That scared me, because I used to be so full of energy. This semester is wearing me out. I feel like I have five jobs. A writer, an actress, a scholar, a theater student, and a sunday school teacher. But I know I'l get through it. I just have to remember being in High School, when I had 9 hours of school, dance classes, and then rehearsals. My days forced me to be out of the house from 7am to 11pm. I really think it's because of God that I could do it. I would give the day to him in the morning "I can't get through this! I'm tired and stressed." and at the end of the day I had accomplished all that worried me, and it all turned out better than I had planned it to. A good rehearsal, good scores on tests. I remember those days.
Imagine, not having other obligations than just doing a show. Kinda like my summer in Jackson doing Shakespeare. Gregory Hines (may he rest in peace) described his experience on Broadway in Jelly's Last Jam as hermitage... I don't have the choice to be a hermit during this show. I was a bit, in Jackson.
I wish I could be a REAL hermit right now... Have nothing to do but read books, make food, listen to music, and write stories. Being a hermit is impossible when you're in school.
I'm pretty pleased with the work I did in rehearsal tonight. I got a harsh note from the director to begin the rehearsal that I have no energy at rehearsals. That scared me, because I used to be so full of energy. This semester is wearing me out. I feel like I have five jobs. A writer, an actress, a scholar, a theater student, and a sunday school teacher. But I know I'l get through it. I just have to remember being in High School, when I had 9 hours of school, dance classes, and then rehearsals. My days forced me to be out of the house from 7am to 11pm. I really think it's because of God that I could do it. I would give the day to him in the morning "I can't get through this! I'm tired and stressed." and at the end of the day I had accomplished all that worried me, and it all turned out better than I had planned it to. A good rehearsal, good scores on tests. I remember those days.
Imagine, not having other obligations than just doing a show. Kinda like my summer in Jackson doing Shakespeare. Gregory Hines (may he rest in peace) described his experience on Broadway in Jelly's Last Jam as hermitage... I don't have the choice to be a hermit during this show. I was a bit, in Jackson.
I wish I could be a REAL hermit right now... Have nothing to do but read books, make food, listen to music, and write stories. Being a hermit is impossible when you're in school.
Friday, January 30, 2004
Lessons from one of the worst days of my life:
1) don't put the cigarettes in the shallow pocket of the coat, but if you hold the coat upside down, don't do that in dance class. you might lose the cigarettes, and dance class is the worst place to blow your cover as a smoker.
2) if you lose your temper, wait until Jesus has left the topic of discussion, even if you are right.
3) Don't tell Nora that Jesus was a good moral guy but not the Son of God if you don't want her to blow her steam, and don't tell her that right after the director of her play calls her and snaps at her and demands that she come to a rehearsal 2 hours earlier than scheduled. On the same note, don't ask questions about Jesus to someone, if you're director has just pissed you off.
4) When you're filming a sitcom that only has one joke, make sure to really punch that one joke, so help you Janet Maylie.
5) Smoking more than you eat is a fine way to kill yourself. Really think about how valuable your life is before you pick up that habit. It's one thing to smoke, another to make that 90% of the "nutrients" that enter your body.
6) Don't look to people learn about Jesus. Either pray to Him, or read the Bible. If you don't believe that the people who wrote the Bible are trustworthy, ask Jesus to show you Himself. Don't look to people to see Jesus. Especially me.
7) Learn your lines for the show that goes up a week from today, and learn them well, or you'll waste the rest of the cast's time and make them stay at rehearsal 15 mins longer than they planned, and you won't get through the run through of Act 2.
8) If U2's next album is as remotely spirtually nurishing as their last one, Nora will be spiritually well-fed.
9) Don't you ever let nobody drag your spirit down. Remember you walkin' up to heaven, don't let nobody turn you around.
1) don't put the cigarettes in the shallow pocket of the coat, but if you hold the coat upside down, don't do that in dance class. you might lose the cigarettes, and dance class is the worst place to blow your cover as a smoker.
2) if you lose your temper, wait until Jesus has left the topic of discussion, even if you are right.
3) Don't tell Nora that Jesus was a good moral guy but not the Son of God if you don't want her to blow her steam, and don't tell her that right after the director of her play calls her and snaps at her and demands that she come to a rehearsal 2 hours earlier than scheduled. On the same note, don't ask questions about Jesus to someone, if you're director has just pissed you off.
4) When you're filming a sitcom that only has one joke, make sure to really punch that one joke, so help you Janet Maylie.
5) Smoking more than you eat is a fine way to kill yourself. Really think about how valuable your life is before you pick up that habit. It's one thing to smoke, another to make that 90% of the "nutrients" that enter your body.
6) Don't look to people learn about Jesus. Either pray to Him, or read the Bible. If you don't believe that the people who wrote the Bible are trustworthy, ask Jesus to show you Himself. Don't look to people to see Jesus. Especially me.
7) Learn your lines for the show that goes up a week from today, and learn them well, or you'll waste the rest of the cast's time and make them stay at rehearsal 15 mins longer than they planned, and you won't get through the run through of Act 2.
8) If U2's next album is as remotely spirtually nurishing as their last one, Nora will be spiritually well-fed.
9) Don't you ever let nobody drag your spirit down. Remember you walkin' up to heaven, don't let nobody turn you around.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
"No. No self pity. I won't have it."
~The Miracle Worker.
I'm in this constant battle of just trying to be who I am, not push the parts of me aside that give me a hard time. But when I try to do that, and I have to face the parts of me that I loathe, it's very difficult not to run to those things that I use to just run over my problems. Oh, why can't I just let myself cry a good cry once in a while? Why do I fear being sad so much? Is it really that bad?
I wish I could convince myself that there is beauty in the valleys that I face. That sometimes it's good to be on a low. It's just that my highs are so high and my lows are so low. Sometimes I have a low and a high in the same day. Like today. And it's not even noon yet.
No, no self pity. I won't have it.
~The Miracle Worker.
I'm in this constant battle of just trying to be who I am, not push the parts of me aside that give me a hard time. But when I try to do that, and I have to face the parts of me that I loathe, it's very difficult not to run to those things that I use to just run over my problems. Oh, why can't I just let myself cry a good cry once in a while? Why do I fear being sad so much? Is it really that bad?
I wish I could convince myself that there is beauty in the valleys that I face. That sometimes it's good to be on a low. It's just that my highs are so high and my lows are so low. Sometimes I have a low and a high in the same day. Like today. And it's not even noon yet.
No, no self pity. I won't have it.
Monday, January 26, 2004
"Savior while my heart is tender I would yeild that heart to thee
All my powers to thee surrender, thine and only thine to be.
Take me now Lord Jesus, take me, let my heart be ever thine
Thy devoted servent make me, fill my soul with love divine.
Send me Lord where thou wilt send me, only do thou guide my way
May thy grace through life attend me, gladly then shall I obey.
Let me do thy will or bear it, I would know no will but thine
Shouldst thou take my life or spare it, I that life to thee resign.
May this solemn consecration never once forgotten be;
Let it know no revocation, registered, confirmed by thee.
Thine I am, Oh Lord, forever, to thy service set apart
Suffer me to leave thee never. Seal thine image on my heart."
I don't know why some things happen the way they do. But when I think about where I am, and where I was, I can see that my faith is stronger because of those things. Maybe it's because those things make me sing that song.
All my powers to thee surrender, thine and only thine to be.
Take me now Lord Jesus, take me, let my heart be ever thine
Thy devoted servent make me, fill my soul with love divine.
Send me Lord where thou wilt send me, only do thou guide my way
May thy grace through life attend me, gladly then shall I obey.
Let me do thy will or bear it, I would know no will but thine
Shouldst thou take my life or spare it, I that life to thee resign.
May this solemn consecration never once forgotten be;
Let it know no revocation, registered, confirmed by thee.
Thine I am, Oh Lord, forever, to thy service set apart
Suffer me to leave thee never. Seal thine image on my heart."
I don't know why some things happen the way they do. But when I think about where I am, and where I was, I can see that my faith is stronger because of those things. Maybe it's because those things make me sing that song.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Today I went to a meeting about this workshop we're having in the theater dept. This agent is coming in and looking at monologues. "Treat it like the most important audition of your life" was the main message. But then a Professor got up and told us that "the actor's life is an audition." We have to treat our entire life like we're trying to impress people because it's who, not what you know.
Well ya know what? A believer's life is NEVER an audition.
Well ya know what? A believer's life is NEVER an audition.
"When you've got nothin', you've got nothin' to lose. You're invisible now, you have no secrets to conceal." (Bob Dylan)
Lately I've noticed that I've been bolder about my faith. A girl in the play's cast told me today "There are sometimes when I really think I want to believe in Jesus and salvation, but I think about it and I try real hard, but I can't." And I said to her "I know I can't believe in Jesus. I need Him to help me." And she said "Yeah, I guess God could probably help me out with that." Goodness.
And the other day I told another girl about how I came to know him in the first place, my senior year in high school. Funny, that I have all this faith all of the sudden. I can't help but wonder if it's because I'm dealing with rejection. And wouldn't that be just like God, and his law of resurrection in a dead world.
"You gotta lose. You gotta learn how to die, if you wanna wanna be alive" (Wilco)
Lately I've noticed that I've been bolder about my faith. A girl in the play's cast told me today "There are sometimes when I really think I want to believe in Jesus and salvation, but I think about it and I try real hard, but I can't." And I said to her "I know I can't believe in Jesus. I need Him to help me." And she said "Yeah, I guess God could probably help me out with that." Goodness.
And the other day I told another girl about how I came to know him in the first place, my senior year in high school. Funny, that I have all this faith all of the sudden. I can't help but wonder if it's because I'm dealing with rejection. And wouldn't that be just like God, and his law of resurrection in a dead world.
"You gotta lose. You gotta learn how to die, if you wanna wanna be alive" (Wilco)
Lately I've been having issues with loving and getting close to people. I want to sing "I am a rock, I am an island" and just kind of hide away in my room with my computer and write stories about New Orleans. "I have my books, and my poetry to protect me".
But something I've come to terms with is that Jesus took a big risk in order for me to know that He loves me. He died for me. Honestly, that's just too profound for me to really grasp, but I'm starting to see it. Loving people takes risk--it means you are vulnerable and the more you love someone the more it hurts when they reject you. But if you think about it, Jesus loves us more than we could ever fathom, and we reject him all the time. He knows what it is to suffer for love. The reason he had to be crucified was because we rejected him. But he still went through with it, and we still sin against him and reject him. These are some of the things that Christians have to be reminded of again and again.
I'm tired of trying to protect myself from Love. I think that if you hurt because you love someone, you know what it's like to be Jesus, a bit. And what else is there to want?
But something I've come to terms with is that Jesus took a big risk in order for me to know that He loves me. He died for me. Honestly, that's just too profound for me to really grasp, but I'm starting to see it. Loving people takes risk--it means you are vulnerable and the more you love someone the more it hurts when they reject you. But if you think about it, Jesus loves us more than we could ever fathom, and we reject him all the time. He knows what it is to suffer for love. The reason he had to be crucified was because we rejected him. But he still went through with it, and we still sin against him and reject him. These are some of the things that Christians have to be reminded of again and again.
I'm tired of trying to protect myself from Love. I think that if you hurt because you love someone, you know what it's like to be Jesus, a bit. And what else is there to want?
