Sunday, January 18, 2004

When life throws you a lemon, make lemonade.

I need to learn how to think positively. I never really learned that before. To push away dispairing thoughts and force myself to look at the brightside. To be thankful.

Sometimes we reach a point in our lives where it's real easy to slip into self pity, to say "I'm lonely and always will be;" to say "nothing ever goes right for me, and it probably never will go right. I'm a magnet of bad circumstances." But I'm trying to remember that, one, those are lies, and two, those thoughts are a waste of time. Worrying, regret, and self-pity are such wastes of time. And they are damaging.

Yes, I'm following Jesus, even though the track record for circumstances is pretty low in some areas of my life. But I tell myself, "Yep. It would be nice if Jesus said that following him meant good times from here on out. But he didn't say that." No, He didn't say that. He said something far more puzzling. "You will have hard times. And you will be blessed when you do." Blessed? Come on, Jesus. How is feeling terrible a blessing?

I've come to realize today that disappointment in people and in myself is a blessing. Because it reminds me that where my treasure is, my heart will be also. And if I make things that aren't Jesus my treasure, I will be disappointed. But if I love God first, I won't be disappointed. And what better way to see that than to lose something and feel that only God remains. He's the one that makes me get up in the morning now. Because there isn't anything else. And that is a blessing to know, that when there is nothing else. There is God.

Oh, and kind of on those lines, my aunt Donna talked of someone who believes that you live on until the last person who remembers you, dies. That's not an original thought, but it discouraged her. And then she remembered that Jesus remembers her, and will never die. Because he will never die, she will live forever. Not bad, eh?