Thursday, August 28, 2003

I'M BACK. I've been around the country. Talk to me if you want the real details or to see pictures of my trip, but here's some american observations from my 2 months on the road.

1) Never drive in LA. Especially on the corner of Kester and Ventura.
2) Most people have morals but are willing to sell them at cash value.
3) Being a christian is only really radical in Ann Arbor. Not so much in Tennessee.
4) Oklahomites are confused about camping.
5) No self serve in Oregon
6) The biggest truck stop in the world is in Iowa.
7) White people are called Anglos in New Mexico.
8) Half of our country is in major drought and is on fire.
9) You can drive 75 on Montana's backroads.
10) The biggest cross in the world is in Texas. It's a spiritual experience
11) Stand up comedy is extremely difficult.
12) Jesus was HUGE and blonde.
13) You are fat if you live in Los Angelos.
14) Alex King was in the synagogue talking to the boy Jesus.
15) Dr. Seuss' trees can be found between Las Vegas and Los Angeles.
16) Utah has a super market called "Honey's Jubilee"
17) Your Pavillion card will work at Vons.
18) There are giant slugs in the redwood forest. GIANT slugs.
19) You only need to take about 3 pictures of the grand canyon.
20) We get our eyes and ideas of courtship from giant scorpions.
21) You can check your email for free in libraries
22) Yellowstone is mostly burnt.
23) If you go on a roadtrip, bring along the Hobbit.
That's all for now.