I added to my web page!!

www.geocities.com/njlimabean

two new entries: 20, 21.
Check it out please!

"Every secret prayer
Every Fancy Free
Every thing I dared for both you and me
All my wildest dreams multiplied by two
They were you"
~FANTASTICKS
They were Jesus. They were Jesus. They were Jesus!

There's such a fooled heart
Beating so fast in search of new dreams
A love that will last within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart

As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill has gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you
As the world falls down
~David Bowie, Labyrinth

I have been hearing God sing that to me lately... He'll give me riches beyond my wildest dreams. He'll be there for me as the world falls down.

Will you think of times you told me you knew the reason
why we had to each be lonely?
Was it just the season?
~Norah Jones, Shoot the Moon

Have you guys heard that song? There's something really interesting about it. She seems to know her present condition is some sort of phase, but she seems to have a little angst about it, as if to ask, "why do we have to have phases anyway?"

To counter that is a lyric from Into the Woods that always runs in my head:
"Oh if life were only moments, even now and then a bad one,
but if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one."

Time in this world is funny like that--sometimes I feel like I'm just trudging along, waiting for the next phase or moment. I'm feeling that today. Maybe some day we will see our lives as that gloomy prequel to our lives of joyful eternity. The Shadowlands, as CS Lewis likes to think of it. Wouldn't that be nice?

How is it so cold? It's supposed to be spring...

"Jesus don't mind the blues. You know, he turned water into wine, not wine into water!"
Wendell Holmes of "The Holmes Brothers"

I saw The Holmes Brothers last Thursday, and being the bold person I am, took the liberty of walking backstage and meeting them after the show, to let them know how much they have inspired me to follow Jesus. "You know my Jesus?" the lead singer, Wendell asked me in his wonderful grumble voice.
"Yeah, I know Jesus very well," I told him.
"You're a student here?"
"Sure am"
"In Ann Arbor?"
"Yes. UofM Ann Arbor"
"Hey, she knows Jesus, in Ann Arbor" Wendell tells one of the other guys in the group.
"I didn't know Jesus was in Ann Arbor!" retorted that guy, Popsy Dixon.

Yes. Jesus is in Ann Arbor too, complete with Harry Martin quotes. www.geocities.com/njlimabean. I am basking over with joy to know that the Holmes Brothers are My brothers. Go out and get one of their albums if you want to own the best gospel blues in the world.

I decided yesterday that no other music brings me more joy than the blues... isn't that ironic?

I'm so glad that God so loved the world... someone has to love it and I'm glad it doesn't have to be me. I hate this world. I am ready to go home.

"Don't leave me standing here.
Lead me to your door."
~Beatles
I love it when I find lyrics about Jesus in Beatles songs!

Today we bombed Iraq.
The war on neglect took a turn for the worst.

Am I growing?
It's hard to tell while it's happening, especially when we're promised change.

Follow, poet, follow right
To the bottom of the night,
With your unconstraining voice
Still persuade us to rejoice.
~W.H. Auden

Grace. She travels outside Karma.
~U2

God loves me today. I can feel it all over.

More Lauryn Hill today.
Please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy, trapped in my memory, constantly holding me, constantly holding me
I need to tell you all, all the pain he's caused, I need to tell you I'm, I'm undone because he led me away from love to be the victim of his web of confusing lies right there before my eyes.
Now I see where I messed up, wanting me all dressed up.
To be who he said I was, he had full control of me, thought I was free because, I did what he told me.
What do I say now, now that he's gone, where do I stay now, now that he's gone.

I trust every part of you, cause all that you say you do
You love me despite myself/Sometimes I, I fight myself
I just can't believe that you would have anything to do with someone so insecure, someone so immature
Oh you inspire me to be the higher me
You make my desire pure, you make my desire pure
Just tell me what to say/I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me, I have no identity
All that I've known is gone, all I was building on
I wanna walk with you
How do I talk to you?

Touch my mouth with your hands. Touch my mouth with your hands…
I wanna understand the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face the temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace
Will my devotion last now that I know the truth, now that there's no excuse
Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?

Please come free my mind, please come be my mind
Can you see my mind? Won't you come free my mind?
~Peace of Mind

Today I'm thinking about that part in the Labyrinth (which is a great movie, despite what most of my friends say--it seems they love to hate it, but I think they are missing out on something wonderful) where Sarah is battling the Goblin King's temptation at the end, and she defends herself with "You have no power over me," so he blows up or disappears or turns into an owl or something.

You have no power over me.

I'm tired of taking the power myself, or letting someone else have it and make my life miserable with it. Today I wanted to stand in the presence of Satan and scream that in his face... YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME. I was bought with a price. I just wish that I didn't have to give God the power over and over again. It's exhausting.

"I'm on my way, I don't know where I'm going. I'm on my way. I'm taking my time but I don't know where."
~Paul Simon
And THAT lyric depicts my generation's condition... I think 80% of the students here at UM don't know what for.

selfishly addicted to a life that i depicted
conflicted because it's not reality...
~Lauryn Hill

Does that not "depict" the human condition well?

Hey, guess what... There are stories in the middle of Isaiah! We serve one bad-ass God. Listen to what He told enemy forces that thought they were more powerful than God: (I edited it a bit... you should get the drift.)
"By your messengers you have heaped insults on the Lord.
And you have said, 'I have ascended the highest mountains... I have cut down the tallest cedars... I have dried up the streams of Egypt'...
Have you not heard? Long ago I ordained it. In days of old I have planned it; now I have brought it to pass."
and here's where the bad-ass part comes in:
"But I know where you stay and where you come and go" I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE says God!
But because you rage against me, and because your insolence has reached my ears, I will put a hook in your nose and my bit in your mouth and i will make you return by the way you came"

ouch! Don't mess with God, that's all I have to say. But isn't a comfort to know that we serve a God with that much power? Weapons of mass destruction? Think of what one angel could do! (that's harry martin).

okay, so i apparently am a copy cat because Lisa has "songs of the day" but honestly, i didn't mean it that way... I wrote that because yesterday I had a song and today I had a song.

A thought to end my day on is, being in the Fantasticks singing love songs opposite my nemesis of romance is weird, and somehow much like a sitcom. I wait for the laugh box to interrupt us everytime I sing "Love, you are love." The gods are laughing...

Today's song is Long and Winding Road by the Beatles.

The long and winding road that leads to your door,
Will never disappear,
I've seen that road before It always leads me here,
leads me to your door.

I was really encouraged by that thought, that the road to Jesus' "door" will be there no matter what we do or what mistakes we've made, since He's gone through great measures to be that door for us. The last line of the song is a lovely plea:
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to you door
I think the road God has for me is pretty Winding. Hopefully it won't be TOO long...

Do you know Stevie Wonder's song "Higher Ground"? Thank you Lisa for getting me hooked to this guy. Here's a quote from the song to encourage:

I'm so glad that he let me try it again
Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin
I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then
Gonna keep on tryin'
Till I reach my highest ground
No one's gonna bring me down
Till I reach my highest ground
Don't you let nobody bring you down (they'll sho 'nuff try)
God is gonna show you higher ground
He's the only friend you have around