some thoughts on songwriting and being a copycat

When the distant world (Metro Detroiters) started to hand me Regina Spektor examples, I stepped back a second. The first time I listened to her I was afraid of her because I knew I'd want to just copy what she does. So I listened to her for a little bit and then stepped off. About a month later I wrote a song that goes a little something like this:

"Darlin darlin darlin darlin darlin are you satisfied with me? (x3)
Everything I do is outta love for you
Darlin darlin darlin darlin darlin are you satisfied?

Honey honey honey honey honey why you comin home so late? (x3)
you hang your coat and then straight to the tv den
honey honey honey honey honey why you coming home?"

And so on for three more verses. The guitar for that song is repetative and simple and it's really just me playing around with my voice. Or playing a game: how many note patterns can I find with these words before I start to clash with the background picking and if I do let myself clash, then when happens?

Then I realized that I was copying Regina Spektor, even though I had barely listened to her. Then the thought crossed my mind, and this was totally liberating, "Who cares?"

I decided to just let myself be influenced. Not by the pop-whines I hear in Thai but by what I want to be influenced by and not care.

Once upon a time I played a song about the Redford theater in Lisa's garage and she said "Dan Kahn?" when I finished and I almost started crying. I thought I'd been ruined because she was right, it sounded like "Coney Island" but not as good and if he heard my Old Redford song he'd scoff at me. I didn't think about how Dan Kahn sometimes impersonates Tom Waits when he's playing. (Though it might be different when it's your friend's style you're macking off of..?)

So about three or five months ago or something, I decided not to care. I'd listen to Regina Spektor and people can compare me to her or not or whatever. They can say I sound like I'm trying to be Joan Baez and I'll live. Seriously folks, this fear has made me want to stop songwriting.

Where does this fear come from? Definitely from my place as a younger sibling. I'm not sure if my brother ever did yell at me to stop copying him, but I've never babysat for someone who had a younger sibling who didn't yell at the younger sibling to stop copying. It has always been a terrifying prospect to me, that I might copy Ian. I always told that older sibling to leave the younger one alone and to take the compliment.

I guess we'l never be able to copy someone directly. And we'll never be able to come out completely original. It's best to just listen to the tunes and while listening, absorb. Later on we might go back to our songs and say, "Sheesh, I was listening to a lot of Jolie Holland at that time," but we'll never admit that. Or maybe we will.

If we ever get big enough to have an audience and a reviewer, we'll have to expect comparisons. I think if I ever get interviewed and someone asks me who I think I sound like I'll just say a mix between my mom's voice and my dad's.

This is from a Regina Spektor Interview:

So I’m guessing when you sit down to write music, you don’t go to yourself “Ok I have to make sure I don’t sound like this”?

No, no, actually it’s almost the opposite, like “I want to sound like this.” Because I always loved learning to copy voices. Like when I listened to Ella Fitzgerald the first time I would sing for hours and hours until I would get certain intonations a certain way. Or when I did Piaf I would try to get the accent the right way or I would listen to Patsy Kline and I would try to get a certain yodeler thing in my throat. I love finding stuff that people can do and trying to find it in my own vocal chords…like within my body. But it’s not like “I’m gonna write a song in the style of…”

But you can pull little things from other people. I was just talking about this with someone last night. It’s like being little thieves…but thieves of like, putting out feelers, like every time you watch a movie or look at people have a conversation—you’re just like stealing little specimens to use later. But you are an honorable thief and that’s the world of it, and other people are doing it and you see them and have a little nod with them, and it’s good. I guess thieving is the wrong word but it’s just filling yourself up with it all—consuming it.