Nightmares

"When you're young, you think everything you do is disposable. You move from now to know, crumpling time up in your hands, tossing things, and people too--leave them behind. You don't know yet the habit they have, of coming back.
...
Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been.
~Margaret Atwood, THE BLIND ASSASSIN

I've been having such dreams, meeting people I have tried to forget. I don't cry about them any more, in real time. Just in my dream's time. Is it possible that Christians make mistakes that they can never escape? Jesus shows us a new world, but do we ever get out of the old one? My life isn't over. Some how, I must believe, he reforms the old into something useful.

Though it hurts to remember, I must be persistant in prayer, in praying for those who I want to forget. If I am reminded of them, I can remember to pray.

" Smiles and laughter and pleasant times
There's love in the world but it's hard to find
I'm so glad I found you -- I'd just like to extend
An invitation to the festival of friends.

Some of us live and some of us die
Someday God's going to tell us why
Open your heart and grow with what life sends
That's your ticket to the festival of friends.

Like an imitation of a good thing past
These days of darkness surely will not last
Jesus was here and he's coming again
To lead us to his festival of friends.

Black snake highway -- sheet metal ballet
It's just so much snow on a summer day
Whatever happens, it's not the end
We'll meet again at the festival of friends. "