i'm feeling the aftershock of cutting off my right hand.

okay, so i've kind of given up theater. no, i've really given up theater--at least for now. my plans for next year are that i'm going to be a fulltime travelling musician. i haven't really grieved over losing theater until today, when i had to write the BFA dept head, john neville andrews, and email requesting 2 studio credits that i haven't gotten yet, because i haven't been cast in a university production since my sophomore year. and then it hit me. i haven't been cast since sophomore year. i've never cried about it, because i've never thought about it. i'm not crying about it now, it just sits heavy, making my stomach hurt. my mom worries that i'm giving up to easily, that i should finish out the theater thing. that's not where my heart is, because the theatre business is not what i want to be a part of. that's not how i want to serve Jesus, because usually when i gain theatrical success, I just end up serving myself and forget all about Him. Travelling with the Psalters seems right, because I will have to think of Him all the time, sing to Him all the time, and have fellowship. Yes, it just makes more sense to me, my heart jumps at the thought. But nonetheless, I am cutting of my right hand. and it hurts.

Every Sunday Chuck W asks if I'm still singing. Yes, Chuck, I'm still singing.