I put this up as my away message earlier today:

"And so you see I've come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you"
P. Simon

I didn't know that it would define my day...

Today's American Drama lecture was very trying to my faith, and sent me home with lots of doubts. The professor noted that many theologists say that sin was the best thing that happened to God, because now he has people who choose to follow Him instead of innocent people who don't make choices. He said that Adam and Eve weren't "Good" because you can only be good if you choose to be, and without the fall, there was no choice. I rose my hand and asked "what about the tree? They had a choice about the tree." And he said, they couldn't be good, they could only obey God.

That was pretty disturbing to me. But then, after making some phone calls, first to my mother, then to my buddy/brother in Christ, Erik Thor, for a little faith uplifting. Both were very uplifting to talk to. Erik said something that made me laugh for the first time in 2 hours. (I had been in a good mood until lecture). I asked him, "How do I know God is in me?" and he said "because His spirit is you." I asked, "How do I know God's spirit is in me?" and he said, "because if He weren't in you, you would have just walked out of there with a notebook full of lecture notes. You're thinking about Him." And I laughed and he laughed and we had a good laugh together. Erik puts things so simply, with so much wit and truth. It's so good to have good friends.

With my mom, I related the stuff about Adam and Eve. And then I realised... Adam and Eve always DID have a choice to be good, the choice to obey is the choice to be good. Because obeying God is being good. What is obeying God? Loving Him and loving people. God's will for us is Good. Obeying Him (whether by loving people, forgiving people, or staying clear from sin) is being Good. So... HAH. There goes that argument. And there goes that doubt.

My mother reminded me that we can't read the Bible unless we have the spirit to guide us. You can't get to God with logic, you can't get to him with works. You can only get to Him with Jesus' spirit.

But the quote on the top, that was what happened today. The only truth I knew was Jesus, all the rest I doubted for about 20 mins. But God has restored my faith, outdone my doubt, and I am very grateful. I have a wonderful mother and a wonderful friend. God used them both today to keep me in His kingdom. :)